I think God grows us like plants. Some of us may always, or often, grow like rose bushes or shrubs; beautiful and graceful in all they do; easily forgiven for their thorns; and always closely stemming from each other. To each other.
Don’t get me wrong – every kind of plant has it’s own “community”. So never do I think, that God grows plant or person, to be wholly apart, on it’s own or disconnected from it’s own kind. (Roses and flowers and all plants must interact with each other, to help pollinate and start new birth, or all would die.) My point here though, is that while some plants thrive and always will be huddled up close with their own, some grow differently. Not better. Not worse. Just different.
Some of us, I think, God grows as if we are a tree. Slow. Steady. Needing a little extra protection as a sapling. But all the while, training it – pruning it – to be a long-lasting and deeply rooted tree. Something that oftentimes is a home to many other creatures (temporary or long term). This is where I see, flowers provide food and trees, shelter. Not better. Just different. However, I know more of trees, because….well,…I relate with them. So if you find yourself a flower, please know that while I praise the beauty and might of the trees, I in no-way find flowers or shrubs or things of beauty to be shallow. I just no more of what I am. Does that make sense?
And the thing about trees, is as they grow taller and their trunks grow stronger and wider, their foundation and stubborness (or I like to say steadfastness) grows as well. But with it, the pruning…oh does the pruning hurt more. Anyone that’s tried to grow a tree or flower or vegetable will know…pruning is important. Not for aesthetics as much as for it’s growth and health.
What used to be a little snip of a twig or leaf, changes to the sawing-off of an entire branch – an entire limb. And in most cases, is not so quick. See now, I find myself to be stubborn like a tree. And while my pruning may not happen as frequently as a sprightly rose bush, when God does prune the dying branches in my life…boy does he saw off those limbs. Whether I’m ready or not. (This is a good thing, despite my stubbornness, so I don’t aim to complain so much as to say…I know the pain of this process).
Additionally, whereas many flowers and vines can grow largely together in masses, a forest, though full, is still made of many trees spaced out some distance from one another. For a tree’s growth to continue, it needs the room for it’s roots to reach out farther and grow. It needs leg room. This allows the roots to dig deeper into a stronger foundation; growing into something immovable and hard to uproot.
In doing so though, a tree may, from time to time, be distanced from it’s “community”. From it’s own kind. Not separated. But a little spaced out. So that the roots of one another don’t hinder any one tree’s growth. This tree will grow into it’s space and make up for that distance in time, but meanwhile, may find itself more solitary than it had become accustomed to.
And I suppose this is where, and why, I find myself relating with trees today. And why I found some peace and solace in them. I’ve always loved and admired and respected this part of God’s creation. Lately, I’ve been feeling internally alone (I have plenty of people around, and a few good friends who are always there for me)…but internally alone. Maybe because of circumstances or because I’m just going through a period of feeling like I’m just not understood, or am not being heard, or don’t have the space where I can be heard (for one reason or another – and not because of anyone else’s “fault”).
I feel….solitary. Except for the Father. Where maybe here, He is pruning me. Making space so I can grow. It’s been a little painful. I’ve been feeling a little stagnant. And a little overlooked. Except for the Father. Who, despite my rebellious heart and internal stubborness, always shows up with water and food, and clippers.
So. Here I am. And I think God is growing me like a tree.
